Contemporary Ceremony 3

Friends, we are gathered here to witness and to celebrate the coming together of two separate lives.

We have come to join this man, __________, and this woman, __________, in marriage, to be with them in the making of this important commitment.

The essence of this commitment is the taking of another person in his or her entirety, as lover, companion, and friend. It is therefore a decision which is not to be entered into lightly, but rather undertaken with great consideration and respect for both the other person and oneself. Having made this decision, __________ and __________ may feel justly proud. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer has said:

"It is right and proper for a bride and bridegroom to welcome and celebrate their wedding day with a unique sense of triumph. When all the difficulties, obstacles, hindrances, doubts, and misgivings have been, not made light of, but honestly faced and overcome -- and it is certainly better not to take everything for granted -- then both parties have indeed achieved the most important triumph of their lives. With the "yes" that they have said to each other, they have, by their free choice, given a new direction to their lives; they have cheerfully and confidently defied all the uncertainties and hesitations with which, as they know, a lifelong partnership between two people is faced; and, by their own free and responsible action, they have conquered a new land to live in. Every wedding must be an occasion of joy that human beings can do such great things, that they have been given such immense freedom and power to take the helm in their life's journey."

Marriage symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives, yet this sharing must not diminish but enhance the individuality of each partner.

A marriage that lasts is one which is continually developing and in which each person is individually developing, while growing in understanding of each other. Deep knowledge of another human being is not something that can be achieved in a short time, and real understanding of the other's feelings can develop fully only with years of intimacy.

This wonderful knowledge of another person grows out of caring for the other so much that one wants to understand as completely as possible what the other is feeling. Thus, it is possible to share, not only joy and successes, but also the burden of sorrows and failures. To be known in this way is a priceless thing, because such understanding and acceptance increase life's joy and make it easier to live with all of life's problems.

But again, while marriage is the intimate sharing of two lives, it can yet enhance the differences and individuality of each partner. We must give ourselves in love, but we must not give ourselves away. As Gibran wrote in The Prophet:

"You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of heaven dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

We are here today to give social recognition to the decision __________ and __________ have made to accept each other totally and permanently, and to celebrate the love which they have for each other.

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (I Corinthians 13)

From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Groom's Vows:

I, __________, take you, __________, as my wife to cherish

For all that you are

all that you‘re not,

And all that you can be,

From this day forward,

Your pain will be my pain

As your joy will be my joy

I promise to always be there for you as

I share with you my hopes and my dreams

Bride’s Vows:

__________,

I take you as my husband to cherish

for all that you are,

all that you are not,

and all that you can be.

From this day forward,

your pain will be my pain

as your joy will be my joy.

I will look upon you,

not to make me whole -

for I am whole within myself,

but for the love and trust

that completes the world around me.

Together we can build our dreams,

Share our lives, and live our hopes.

__________and __________wish to exchange rings as symbols of their vows.__________, as you place the ring on __________'s hand, repeat after me: This is my beloved and this is my friend. With this ring I thee wed and join my life with yours.__________ as you place the ring on__________'s hand, repeat after me: This is my beloved and this is my friend. With this ring I thee wed and join my life with yours.

Rose ceremony

Groom: (handing bride the rose):

__________, take this rose as a symbol of my love. It began as a tiny bud and blossomed, just as my love for you has grown and blossomed.

Bride: (placing rose into a bud vase filled with water):

I take this rose as a symbol of your love, and I place it into water, a symbol of life. For, just as this rose cannot survive without water, our relationship cannot survive without love.

Groom: In remembrance of this day, I will give you a rose each year on our anniversary, as a reaffirmation of my love and the vows spoken here today.

Bride:And I will refill this vase with water each year, ready to receive your gift, in reaffirmation of my love and the vows spoken here today.

From "Gift From The Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. That is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

Before these loved ones and friends, __________ and __________ have pledged themselves to each other and have symbolized this by giving and receiving rings. By the authority vested in me by the State of Georgia, I pronounce you husband and wife.

(Kiss)

Couple may or may not be introduced as: __________________________

Savannah Georgia Wedding Officiant, Rev. Steven Schulte E-mail (912) 354-6815